Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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