watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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