I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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