xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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