i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm too high and old for this...
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