Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
there was a trapeze. enough said
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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