So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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