thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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