im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize