Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
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we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
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I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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