Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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