he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize