fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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