i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well I just put wine in my tea
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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