Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
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sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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