i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
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She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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