i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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