my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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