Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize