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You work out of a Hotel?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
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