Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I am in a vortex of obligation.

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(717): I am in a vortex of obligation. http://tfl.nu/iw17

Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (1477) Order T-Shirt
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(619): View more from California

guys are not supposed to queef...right?

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(619): guys are not supposed to queef...right? http://tfl.nu/p86m

Replies (96) Good night (616) Bad night (6910) Order T-Shirt
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(404): View more from Georgia

he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off

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(404): he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off http://tfl.nu/rmt4

Replies (33) Good night (1877) Bad night (6873) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.

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(724): All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough. http://tfl.nu/tdyq

Replies (4) Good night (1033) Bad night (1641) Order T-Shirt
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(863): View more from Florida

There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.

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(863): There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent. http://tfl.nu/g0ez

Replies (21) Good night (6992) Bad night (1062) Order T-Shirt
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(607): View more from New York

I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.

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(607): I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson. http://tfl.nu/gvkr

Replies (13) Good night (3191) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.

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(307): I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real. http://tfl.nu/ype2

Replies (3) Good night (511) Bad night (1059) Order T-Shirt
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(907): View more from Alaska

Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.

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(907): Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years. http://tfl.nu/b9ln

Replies (12) Good night (1703) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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(803): View more from South Carolina

thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...

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(803): thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling... http://tfl.nu/yt8z

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(914): View more from New York

Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?

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(914): Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday? http://tfl.nu/1qeg

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss

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(724): Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss http://tfl.nu/6mbx

Replies (2) Good night (514) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.

(303): View more from Colorado

Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.

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(970): He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out. (303): Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do. http://tfl.nu/z2aq

Replies (3) Good night (1888) Bad night (481)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.

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(724): Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me (1-724): He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit. http://tfl.nu/ml5w

Replies (5) Good night (1292) Bad night (311)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

who dressed up as a cop at your party???

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

idk I have to check. Why?

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.

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(724): who dressed up as a cop at your party??? (1-724): idk I have to check. Why? (724): he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM. http://tfl.nu/wn9a

Replies (5) Good night (2320) Bad night (221)
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(361): View more from Texas

Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."

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(361): Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again." http://tfl.nu/1lne

Replies (9) Good night (806) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt

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