i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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