Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
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Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
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I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize