Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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