Welp...herpes.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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