I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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