I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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