Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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