I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
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my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
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Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
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