You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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