If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize