Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize