they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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