I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize