At least make sure they are 18
Why
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
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I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
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All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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