I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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