Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
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my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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