last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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