I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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