whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this just has baby written all over it
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
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He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize