At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
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Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
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I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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