well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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