I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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