Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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