u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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