I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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