Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize