look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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