Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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