my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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