just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize